Wondering if you are neurodivergent during pregnancy?

Pregnancy is often portrayed as a time of joy, anticipation, and planning. For some people, it can also be a confusing, overwhelming and isolating. This may feel even more if you are neurodivergent and unaware of it. For people who are autistic, have ADHD traits, sensory processing difficulties or other neurodivergent differences, pregnancy without recognition or formal diagnosis can present challenges that aren't often discussed or supported. This blog post aims to shed light on this experience, offer insight, support and a sense of solidarity for those who may be navigating this experience.

The Hidden Struggles of Neurodivergence

Many neurodivergent people, particularly women, can spend years or perhaps their entire lives unaware of their neurodivergence. They may have learned to mask their symptoms or attribute their challenges to other issues or past experiences. However, the intense hormonal shifts, sensory changes, and new demands of pregnancy can exacerbate these underlying differences, bringing them to the forefront in ways that can be both confusing and distressing.

Sensory Overload and Sensitivity

Pregnancy often heightens the senses, and for someone who is neurodivergent, this can lead to overwhelming sensory experiences. A person who was previously able to cope with sensory sensitivities might find themselves struggling with intense aversions to smells, textures, or sounds. This can make everyday tasks, like eating or getting dressed, much more challenging.

Imagine suddenly finding that the texture of your favourite foods is now unbearable, or that the smell of your partner’s bodywash makes you feel nauseous. These heightened sensitivities can add layers of stress to an already challenging time.

Emotional Dysregulation and Overwhelm

Hormonal fluctuations during pregnancy can significantly impact mood and emotional regulation. For someone who is neurodivergent, this can intensify existing difficulties with managing emotions. Many neurodivergent people already experience emotional dysregulation, and the added pressures of pregnancy, combined with the societal expectation to be calm and content can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, or even guilt.

For instance, you might find yourself crying for hours over something seemingly minor or becoming intensely anxious about the health of your baby, to the point where it disrupts your daily life. The inability to control these emotions, coupled with the pressure to appear "normal," can be incredibly isolating.

Navigating Social Expectations

Pregnancy often brings with it a barrage of unsolicited advice, social expectations, and pressure to conform to a certain image of what a "good" expectant mother or parent should be. For neurodivergent people who may already struggle with social cues or expectations, this can be overwhelming.

There might be an expectation to attend numerous social gatherings, baby showers, or prenatal classes, all of which can be draining for someone who is neurodivergent. The pressure to participate in these activities, coupled with the anxiety of not fitting in can make social interactions feel like a minefield.

The pressure to participate in these activities, coupled with the anxiety of not fitting in can make social interactions feel like a minefield.

The Impact of Not Knowing

One of the most challenging aspects of being unaware, unrecognised or undiagnosed neurodivergent during pregnancy is not understanding why you're struggling so much. Without a formal assessment, self-identification or formal diagnosis, it can be easy to internalise these difficulties. You may blame yourself for not being able to cope as well as others seem to. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, shame, and a sense of failure.

Imagine being bombarded with well-meaning advice about how pregnancy should be a ‘magical time’, while internally feeling like you’re barely holding it together. The lack of a clear explanation for why you’re struggling can make it hard to seek out the right support.

Finding Your Path Forward

Understanding your neurodivergence can provide validation, open avenues for formal support during labour and birth and help you prepare for parenthood in a way that suits your needs.

If you suspect that you might be neurodivergent, it can be helpful to share your ‘wonderings’ with your midwifery or healthcare team. It may also be helpful to seek an assessment, even during pregnancy. Understanding your neurodivergence can provide validation, open avenues for formal support during labour and birth and help you prepare for parenthood in a way that suits your needs. Here are some other steps you can take to navigate this journey:

Self-Compassion

Acknowledge that your experiences are valid. You are not "broken" or "failing" at pregnancy, you are simply experiencing it differently.

Educate Yourself

Learn about neurodivergence and how it might be impacting your pregnancy. Understanding your brain’s unique wiring can help you develop strategies to cope. Have a look around our website, resources and social media for information.

Seek Support

Look for professionals who are knowledgeable about neurodivergence in pregnancy. A therapist, doula, or midwife with experience in this area can be invaluable.

Explore options for assessment

Our own Dr Lauren offers assessments at andpsychology.com

Connect with Others

There are online communities and support groups for neurodivergent parents. Connecting with others who understand your experience can reduce feelings of isolation. In The Neurodivergent Parent Space we have resources, community, chat and connection with other parents to help you navigate this journey

Advocate for Yourself

You may wish to share your wonderings about neurodivergence and ask for accommodations or adjustments that will make your pregnancy easier to manage. This might include sensory-friendly environments, flexible appointment times or more personalised care.

Navigating Your Journey

Every pregnancy is individual and unique. There is no "right" way to experience it. If you are ‘wondering’, self-identify or formally recognised as neurodivergent, your pregnancy journey may be different from others and what you initially expected. It’s important to remember that feeling or being different doesn’t mean worse. Learning more and showing kindness to yourself may help you through your pregnancy experience and transition to early parenthood with self-compassion, understanding and choice.

If this resonates with you, know that you are not alone. Your experiences are valid, and there are others out there who share your journey. Come join us in The Neurodivergent Parent Space.

If you are a practitioner working with neurodivergent people during pregnancy or in early years services, keen to build your knowledge and skill we would love for you to join our practitioner trainings.



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To Share or Not to Share: Navigating Neurodivergent Disclosure