Deciding whether to share your neurodivergence with others can be a personal and sometimes complex decision. Whether you’re self-identifying, seeking answers, or have a formal diagnosis, the question of disclosure can arise in many different settings: at work, among friends, with extended family, or even within your own home.

This post is for anyone who’s found themselves wondering, “Should I tell them?” about being neurodivergent - whether that means ADHD, autism, dyslexia, Tourette’s, or any other form of neurodivergent difference. Let’s explore the considerations, the potential advantages, risks and how to make choices that feel right for you.

The Power and Vulnerability of Sharing

Opening up about your neurodivergence can be a meaningful act. It can help others understand who you are, encourage empathy, and provide support for your needs. It can also model acceptance and authenticity, especially to children or loved ones who may be navigating their own neurodivergent experiences or ‘wonderings’.

Opening up about your neurodivergence can be a meaningful act. It can help others understand who you are, encourage empathy, and provide support for your needs.

But there are risks. Unfortunately, stigma still exists. Sharing might lead to being misunderstood, judged, or treated differently. People may make assumptions or offer unhelpful advice. While many will respond with support and curiosity, others may not. Disclosure is never easy or a ‘one size fits all’ choice.

When You’re Deciding Whether to Disclose

If you’re in the process of discovering or connecting more with a neurodivergent identity, the decision to share can feel complicated. Where you are in your personal journey matters. You may feel proud and self-assured, or unsure, vulnerable and still processing. It’s okay to take your time.

Where you are in your personal journey matters. It’s okay to take your time.

Ask yourself:

Does it feel safe to share here?
Is this a space where I can be authentic?
Am I doing this for me - or because I feel like I have to?

Listening to your comfort level is key.

Questions to Ask Yourself Before Disclosing

If you're considering sharing your neurodivergent identity with someone, here are a few helpful questions to reflect on:

Why do I want to share?

Are you hoping to advocate for yourself, ask for support, build understanding, or simply be authentic? Knowing your “why” can help guide the conversation and make it more meaningful.

Who am I talking to?

Consider your audience. Do they understand neurodivergence? Are they open to learning? What language or framing might connect or be useful for them. What may be confusing?

What are the risks and benefits?

Could disclosure bring more support, empathy and clarity - or could it lead to stigma, discomfort or judgment? There’s no right or wrong answer.

What do I want to share?

You don’t have to disclose everything. Maybe you could just mention that you ‘struggle with noise so need to go somewhere quiet’ or you could add more detail “I have ADHD, so I find routine helpful or may need support with time management.” Keep it simple or add more detail. It’s up to you.

Am I ready for their response?

People might be curious, supportive, surprised, or say nothing at all. Give yourself space to process their reaction and set boundaries if needed. Remind yourself of your self-care strategies if needed.

Exploring Your Identity: What Feels Comfortable?

You might also want to think about which parts of your neurodivergence you feel most comfortable sharing and which you’d rather keep private. Your relationship with your identity can be complex and change over time. It’s natural to be on a journey with different parts of your identity. don’t have to have it all comfortable with everything out.

Some areas to consider:

Diagnosis or labels:
Is self-identification enough? Do you need a formal diagnosis to enable you to share your neurodivergence with others. Does your diagnosis feel validating, or are you still exploring what it means for you?
Accommodations:
How do you feel about asking for support, flexibility, or adjustments at work, school, or home?
Coping strategies:
Are you open about what helps you navigate challenges?
Strengths:
Would you like to highlight skills linked to your neurodivergence, like creativity, attention to detail or hyper focus?

There’s no pressure to share anything you’re not ready to. It’s completely okay to share different aspects of your identity or not at all.

Your relationship with your identity can be complex and change over time. It’s natural to be on a journey with different parts of your identity.

What about the workplace?

For many neurodivergent people, the workplace is one of the most challenging as well as meaningful spaces to consider disclosure. Navigating professional environments while respecting your neurodivergent identity can involve complex decisions about when, where and how to share.

With managers or supervisors:

Disclosing your neurodivergence can open doors to more meaningful support, clearer communication and accommodations. It may help explain certain work preferences or needs - like requiring quiet spaces, flexibility with deadlines, managing meetings. However, it’s okay to hold back if your workplace the doesn’t feel supportive or if you're unsure how the information will be received.

With colleagues or teammates:

Sharing aspects of your neurodivergence can promote better collaboration, reduce misunderstandings and create space for others to be open about their own ways of working. It can also encourage a more inclusive and empathetic team culture.

With HR or leadership:

When you're seeking formal accommodations or navigating challenges related to your role, sharing your neurodivergent identity with HR may help initiate supportive conversations. If you choose to share, it can be helpful to outline what changes or support you would prefer and what would enable you to do your job well.

What If I’m a Parent?

For many neurodivergent adults, parenting can add a layer of complexity and opportunity when it comes to disclosure.

With your children:

Sharing your neurodivergence with your children can help them understand your behaviour, normalise neurodivergence, and model self-acceptance. It might even help them better understand themselves if they’re neurodivergent too.

With teachers and professionals:

Disclosing your own neurodivergence can improve communication, build trust and make it easier to advocate for your child.

With friends and other parents:

Sharing your story can strengthen connections with other parents and could open the door for others to share their own experiences. However, not every environment will feel safe or supportive.

A Tool for Reflection: The Identity & Self-Disclosure Map

At our next webinar on ‘Managing Disclosure as a Neurodivergent Parent’ we’ll introduce our Self-Disclosure Map, a tool to help you reflect on your comfort levels in different situations. Whether you’re confident in sharing or still figuring it out, the map may help you reflect on your comfort levels in different situations and which ones you might like to develop. Book your spot here.

There Is No Right or Wrong Way

It’s important to remember disclosure is your choice and you can do it on your own terms.

Ultimately, disclosure is not a one-time event, it’s an ongoing, evolving choice. What may feel right today may change tomorrow. You might share more in some spaces, less in others. You might change your language, boundaries, or your level of detail.

There will be moments when advocating or explaining feels meaningful and impactful. There may also be times when it feels exhausting and upsetting. We’re also aware that there may be times when disclosing your neurodivergence, challenging or educating others may feel too much. It’s important to remember disclosure is your choice and you can do it on your own terms.

To Share or Not to Share: Navigating Neurodivergent Disclosure